My weight

Today I jumped on my friend's scale. I weigh 188 lbs.
This is the number I have to associate with my body for now.
Part of me felt a relief, and another was in disbelief.

Relief because I am not 194 lbs or more. (This is the most I have EVER weighed, so of course to me it's the number to fear.)
Disbelief because at some point during the past year I was 175 lbs and I had not realized how much weight I had gained.

I kept telling myself that I was bloated, I was stressed, and really believed that at any point I would go miraculously stay at 175 lbs.

BUT the scale doesn't lie. I am 188 lbs.

Realistically, I can only imagine losing about 20 lbs, which would put me at 168 lbs.

Ideally, I would love to be in the 150's, which I have not been in a VERY long time. I was probably 17 when I was in the 150's, and came back to that weight again in my mid 20's. After I had reached my max of 194 lbs, I dieted by taking medication. I started at 194 and ended at 154 lbs in a matter of 3 months. I stayed there for about 1 week, before I gained every pound I had lost before the diet.

Eventually, I want to be 130 lbs. That would make me happy. Not 110 or 120... I don't want to be skinny, I just want to be normal, healthy, and outside of the "obese" category.
Of course, this would mean I would have to lose 60 lbs.

My actual weigh in for the program will be this weekend. I hope the numbers will look better by then.

Activity: I didn't go running today, but had a light lunch and dinner. I plan to go for a run in the morning.

Body: My body is still sore in a few areas. At this time, I'm not sure if it's from Canyon Ranch or from Saturday's work out. My ribs are sore (right below my chest), my triceps are tight, my lower abs hurts when I sneeze or when I try to get into the car, and the thighs.

Learning: Just Pilates alone will not do it. I have to do cardio AND become more concious about the food I ingest. Yeah, it's that simple. Right?!?!